is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
