why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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