I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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