Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we made out on top of his cat.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
