nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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