Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this just has baby written all over it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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