Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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