Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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