I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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