White coat. Heels.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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