I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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