how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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