you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
