sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm jealous of your bromance
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
