So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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