Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
