Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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