gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I love you.
Bad choice
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