508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
