yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
