That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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