how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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