id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
