I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
