Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
