I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
