You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
