He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
