mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
