Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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