I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
