dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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