Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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