I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
