Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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