i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
