I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
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Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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