We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
