how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
