why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
