That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
