I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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