My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
