I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
