I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
