I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
