Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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