I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
