What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
