READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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