Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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