I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
