I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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