it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
