she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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