you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
