she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
