it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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