Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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