Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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