I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
